Chapter 251, Writing a Diary from Scratch (Part )

After figuring everything out, I felt calmer than ever before.

It was like a new life, and the unreserved relaxation even made me feel that every breath I took was light and graceful. It was like a mouthful of wine that had been aged for thirty years, and my whole body was filled with heat and a sense of comfort.

I felt like I was finally alive and had completely transformed from all the misery of the past.

The pace suddenly quickened afterwards. I felt like every day had passed without doing anything. Before I had time to think about what to say after school, the gloomy dusk had already fallen.

I just relied on the inertia of past thinking to maintain my attitude towards him. He didn't like me to interact with other people, so I looked out the window all day; I gave him whatever he wanted.

I try my best to do everything I can to do well. I want him to be happy and to be free to do what he wants.

When I reorganized his bedroom in front of him, I was so proud. His joyful and hopeful eyes gave me great encouragement. I took care of every corner of the house that belonged to us, stitch by stitch, as if I were weaving the future.

I try hard to maintain the warm and beautiful life relationship in my heart, but God always makes things difficult for me.

After the last kidnapping, Dr. Herzog came to me again. I was really shocked when I saw him. After so many years, he not only did not age, but looked younger.

When I was leaving the school gate, I really didn't expect that he would appear in public like this. Because of the dark experience I had in the past, my stress reaction to this man really reached its peak, so my body's escape and self-protection reaction made the situation extremely embarrassing, but I really didn't mean it.

This wasn’t really a hero-saving-the-beauty scene, but my little hero still stood in front of me with a smile on his face like a knight.

It was at this time that I suddenly realized that he was much taller than me and stronger than me. Although his skills might not be as good as I expected, the moment he stood in front of me, I really felt a sense of security that I had not felt for a long time.

Actually, I'm not afraid. At this point, nothing can scare me.

He didn't know what kind of life this girl behind him had gone through to be so powerful.

But I still agreed.

For many years.

I haven't felt this way in many years.

Many years ago, I also felt this feeling while hiding behind Zero. I can't explain it now. But I know in my heart that Zero is omnipotent. Everything he says is absolutely right because he has the ability. But this boy is different. I have a completely different sense of trust and security in him. I don't think he is omnipotent, nor do I think he can deal with Dr. Herzog. I just trust him.

Maybe God really started to favor me, and such an unforgettable thing happened to me a second time.

Under the red leaves, his every word and action are engraved in my mind.

On the street, he openly compared me to his forbidden zone. His tone and demeanor seemed to treat me as his private property, which could not be coveted by anyone.

This feeling is so weird, I really want to kick him and yell, stop talking nonsense, who is your girl.

But the environment and scene at the moment made his image too warm, which was totally inconsistent with his age and immature face.

My heart suddenly warmed up, and I even had an inexplicable sense of accomplishment, so in the end I just squeezed his hand and muttered something softly, using a shy tone that I had never expected.

But he didn't hear it.

I couldn't tell whether I was disappointed or not. He didn't say much along the way, and I kept staring at the figures blending into each other in the large French windows of the roadside shops.

I could sense that he was not very sensitive about matters between men and women, so everything he said to me and everything he did did not have the original intention of PVA (river crab, changed the letters), but had an effect that surpassed all PVA means, because it was strong enough, sincere enough, and selfless enough, so it always left me powerless to resist.

Just as Chips and Mai analyzed, my straightforwardness and honesty would become a sword that would pierce his shell;
His positivity, maturity beyond his years, and the naivety hidden within it became a gentle yet seamless stream that slowly eroded me. That feeling seemed to bring me back to my carefree youth.

It just so happens that I have made up my mind.

I will not betray Zero.

But I don't plan to leave him either.

So he is the last gift in my life, the gift I deserve.

I thought he was like that, but I was wrong.

My past actions had cast an indelible shadow on him. Although he had always shown through his actions that he would continue to trust me, he no longer had the courage to be aggressive.

…Even at the cultural festival, he remained calm as always when I sat on his calves.

I'm sorry Zhuo, I really didn't know that I had caused you so much harm unconsciously. I was just scared at that time. I have never been in love, and this is something I'm not good at. I just wanted to think more about it.

This was my mistake, so I can't blame him.

After that, everything gradually became normal, but normal was not normal at all.

I know this is a sign of a storm, but I'm too lazy to think about it.

I began to try to get close to him, to accept him, and began to try to pinch his cheeks, like before, with a little expectation in my heart, hoping that he would remember the past experience and do it again. This time I would never run away.

Unfortunately, no.

Looking back now, there are so many regrets.

During that time together, I always couldn't help but want to get closer to him, but I was afraid of scaring him. I wanted to pinch his face, scratch his hair, and touch our foreheads to each other and whisper something, but I didn't dare. He was already careful enough. I was afraid that he would be scared, and I was also afraid that he would think I was weird.

To be honest, I am a little unhappy about the matter of Yabuki Sakura, although I can see that Zhuo and her are just strangers. But there is no reason, I am just unhappy.

But that's all. As I have said countless times, I trust him more than I trust myself.

But I still brought up this matter with a stern face.

Although my expression didn't change much, I still felt relieved every time I saw him look deflated.

Who asked him to give a gift to Sakura Yabuki!

To be honest, it feels very refreshing and comfortable.

(End of this chapter)