Chapter 245, Writing a Diary from Scratch (Part )

I did see his hurt expression, as if he had suffered some injustice but had to swallow it silently. I gave him this injustice, and I deserved to pay the price for it, and I won't blame anyone else.

My mind was preoccupied with other things at the time, so I said goodbye to him.

I met Potato Chips, and everything happened exactly as I had guessed: everything was arranged by Potato Chips, from the transfer to another school, to the trouble, to her coming to my house, to this contact...

It is naturally impossible for Potato Chips to do these things on its own.

There is only one person who can command her.

……I am very depressed.

I didn't know if I had lost my value or if I had done something wrong. I walked aimlessly on the street.

When I came to my senses, I was squatting in a remote alley, motionless, watching the sun toss from the east to the west. Looking at the beams of the door eaves, I could no longer cry. I seemed to be able to see the broken end of my life, imagining that there was a white silk thread leading to the afterlife.

My body and spirit became extremely sharp because of this series of blows, but someone happened to barge in at this time without knowing whether to live or die. Although he left soon.

But why... is it back again?

The streets of Bunkyo Ward were very quiet at night. The boy rode out on his bike late at night to buy a bottle of drink, and then rode back with a thump. When he passed by the alley, he would slow down and look inside intentionally or unintentionally, but the alley was empty.

The young boy, with beads of sweat on his face, cursed twice.

I witnessed all of this while hiding in the shadows three hundred meters away.

Nice guy.

The boy fell ill the next day. Something was wrong with him from the moment he entered the classroom. Thinking about what happened last night, I felt that I was also responsible for this.

I originally thought that, considering the boy's avoidance mentality, it would take a lot of effort for him to repay this 'non-existent' favor. But the result was unusually simple.

When I grabbed him as he was about to fall, he immediately let go of the railing, which was still staggering and struggling to hold on to it, and fainted in my arms, leaving only the words "Romanov, I will return the favor."

The miracle happened again naturally, and the body also did not feel any rejection.

And he slept soundly, without making any noise or disturbance.

From the first time we met, I knew that this boy definitely knew me. Judging from his subsequent wariness and alienation, this recognition was not a friendly and positive emotion. But he could faint in front of me without any defense when I was at my weakest, and give everything to her.

I carried him down the stairs, helped him into the car, and then carried him into the elevator.

It was not until the middle of the night that he finally woke up. At that time, my mind was full of those messy things and I didn't want to stay here.

So the first time I went out, I planned to leave.

At this moment, I seemed to feel something gently scratching my back, but when I looked through the mirror on the table, there was nothing behind me. It was all an illusion.

After I walked out the door, I endured for a long time, but finally turned around and went to the kitchen to get some water, towels and other things... I thought about sending these to the room and leaving here.

But when I saw him crawling on the bed like a caterpillar, and then a blush slowly climbed up his cheeks, I still softened my heart.

His eyes were black and shiny, as if they could speak.

When facing me, apart from the embarrassment of being caught in an embarrassing situation, he did not feel any strangeness as between strangers... Maybe there was some strangeness, but I don't think it was because of the strangeness, but because I was a woman.

At this moment, the haze that had been weighing on my heart suddenly dissipated a little, and I wanted to smile to ease my emotions. But I had forgotten how to smile. Then.

I had an open negotiation with Chips and she lied to me once again.

This is not a solicitation, it is a honey trap. Or a trap.

At that time, I didn’t think I could complete this task, nor did I think I had the conditions to use a honey trap.

I have read history books from all over the world, and the beauties who used the beauty trap were all charming and considerate. I know clearly that I do not possess any of these qualities.

So no matter how exaggerated Potato Chips talks, I won't expose her.

I think this is a plan doomed to fail.

Doomed to fail...? I have to pay the price for my naivety.

The result of acquiescing to this lie was to continue to play dumb, and I also chose to acquiesce to the boy's request to restock the potato chips at the supermarket he went to every day. Then, as expected, I met him again.

I guess it was because I had taken care of him before, so he thought about it and chose to help me this time. And I once again accepted it.

I don't know if all of this was within Potato Chips' calculations, or if all of this was within Zero's plan...but everything started to develop in a direction that I had never expected, like a speeding car on a downhill road with broken brakes that could never stop.

The confrontation at the sports festival, his rage when the tug-of-war whistle blew, his flight after meeting in the restaurant...

Every time I couldn't predict what he would do next, but every time it would help the haze in my heart dissipate a little.

Before I knew it, I was able to sit in the boy's home and eat and chat with him with peace of mind.

In my clumsy 'accidental plan', there was no way he could not have noticed my intention, which was so obvious, even though I didn't try to hide it.

So we made a pact.

We don't disturb each other's lives and let time decide everything.

I still remember that I said at that time that I could satisfy all his requirements except myself...Now I realize that except myself, I can't satisfy anything for him.

I am a liar.

Half a year later he returned to his hometown. After watching him leave Tokyo where he had lived for half a year, I did not leave the station, but took the next train to Izu.

When she told me before she left that she would bring me a gift, I felt a faint sense of anticipation... I haven't heard the word "gift" for many years, let alone received one.

At that time, I also thought that living with him like this would not be as bad as I imagined.

…and no gifts were received.

No, it should be said that I just didn’t receive it, but the gift is indeed there - hidden in the gap of the sofa.

After living there for half a year, I was responsible for almost all the housework in this cottage, so I knew everything about it, including the sofa where he sat every day.

The contrast of unfulfilled expectations, coupled with the fact that I hate people who break their promises... everything made me angry.

At that time, a new "marriage partner" happened to land at Tokyo Airport. I had to use the excuse that "he has gained weight and needs to lose weight for health" to let him eat some vegetarian food that he disliked the most.

(End of this chapter)