Chapter 244, Writing a Diary from Scratch (Part )

Later we escaped from that place together and lived together for many days...

For a period of time afterwards, Zero stayed with me almost every step of the way. On the way from Black Swan Port to Moscow, every time I woke up, I saw Zero sitting by the bed, looking at myself with great interest. Every day I was evolving, and all the defects of my body disappeared as my bloodline awakened. Sometimes I would stare at myself in the mirror, from the front to the side, and couldn't believe that those perfect lines belonged to me.

Later, Zero lied to me, and I saw through his lies. He was very good at lying, but not everything was worth lying about. Zero told me about his parents, and during that time, I thought about death again.

"Listen! Remember! I have spent 100,000 rubles to buy you from your father! From now on, you are mine!" Zero said fiercely, "From now on, your last name is not Chicherin, nor is it Renata. Your name is..." He thought for a while, "Your name is Zero. You are mine, so use my name! If you have to love something in order to have the confidence to live, you might as well love me! At least I won't sell you out for a little bit of pitiful benefit like your scumbag father! Even if I sell you out, it must be in exchange for something of great value!"

"OK……"

He saved me with this sentence.

Zero once said to me: He will not give up on me while I am still useful to him.

I am convinced of this.

This is our agreement. I live for this agreement and never regret it, even today.

So Zero, to some extent, perfectly made up for the lack of fatherly and motherly love in my childhood, and gave me a reason to live again. I once thought that this kind of wandering would continue forever, and nothing could make me lose anything.

The lesson from God came so quickly. After an incident, I lost my last friend Zero. I tried my best and tried with all my might, but in the end it was of no avail.

God’s wrath was greater than any time before. It not only robbed me of the last thing in the world, but also implicated my entire subsequent life.

From then on, I was no longer as optimistic as before, nor did I have the confidence I had before. Although I tried my best to bring Zero back, I was powerless and my only friend in my youth was lost.

But I didn't expect that God's test or even punishment for me had just begun...

After that incident, I couldn't see anyone for a long time, and couldn't see anything outside the walls. I began to learn to restrain my expressions and control my emotions. In order to prevent organ degeneration, I began to talk to myself.

I started making myself useful.

many years.

Over the years, I have met all kinds of people and witnessed human desires and love, kindness and ugliness.

I am used to killing people, used to guns, and I also understand people's hearts a little bit... I once used my size to get close to a middle-aged man. This man lost his daughter and his emotions were twisted. In other words, he was a lolita control. I used my advantage to get the information I wanted, and then left.

I didn't kill him, and he didn't have the chance to touch my body. In addition to the reason of Zero, it was also because I hated any contact with any man.

In fact, this person was not a bad person and seemed honest and decent, but I still hated him, or rather, I would hate any man who appeared at that time.

Over the years, I have never thought about things between men and women. Before, I was busy thinking about home every day, and then I was always thinking about Zero. I didn't even have a naive girlish heart for anyone.

I hadn't even thought about what kind of man I wanted to find, but I was already someone's confidante. Apart from lamenting the injustice of fate, I had no room to fight back... because this was also what Zero had given me.

The moment I learned that there was no time limit or target for this mission, I understood. My life was bleak.

Renata is no longer Renata, she is dead.

Now, Zero just wants to be a useful person.

Even if it was thrown out.

…The first assignment I received was to observe a boy and uncover his secrets.

I entered the class of the boy who was wary of me at first sight, sat in an inconspicuous seat in the last row, and began to observe him.

The crowd was noisy and the sunlight outside the window shone on the faces of everyone around me, all with bright and shy smiles. In the dark where the light could not reach, the boy held his chin with one hand and held the textbook with the other hand, his eyes hidden behind the textbook, still sleeping... No one reminded him that the English class had ended long ago, he seemed to be living in his own world, isolated from the crowd.

This feeling of no one caring, no one concerned, and no sense of existence is very bad.

But when someone talks to him, the boy will wake up quickly and listen to every word lazily and seriously. Just like the NPC in the game, always fixed in a certain place, speaking his lines professionally when someone wakes him up, and going into standby mode when no one is around.

After school, he was always the first one to leave the campus, alone.

But there is no loneliness and desolation.

He would count the number of steps, stop to look at the flowers on the roadside, pick the maple leaves above his head and use them as a fan, help lost children, and be with an aunt who fell off her bicycle...

Nice guy.

This is my evaluation of him.

If you don't see him on the way home from school one day, he must be on duty in the classroom for a classmate. He is always like this, as long as others give enough reasons, he will naively change his schedule and agree to do it.

Maybe he didn't believe that reason either, but he did it anyway.

So, nice guy.

After a physical education class, I saw him passing by the corridor. The boy kept his eyes on my thighs from beginning to end until he woke up and showed a dull look - looking at his dull back, I had no emotional fluctuations anymore. This was my mission and I would not complain.

Su Enxi and Jiude Mai took great pains to get me in touch with him for the first time. Although I didn't want this kind of contact at all, they had already done it before I even noticed.

Different than I thought.

He avoids me like the snakes and scorpions.

Although I didn't want to get in too deep with him, a mission was a mission, and the opportunity to get close to him shouldn't be missed. Besides, I didn't like to owe favors to others.

We went to a restaurant called "Mo" and ordered the most expensive set meal. I understood what the boy meant, to repay a favor with money, because he ordered the most expensive one, so from now on, we owed each other nothing and no one would feel burdened.

I really like the result.

He also ate with a clear conscience.

I thought the matter would end there, but... a car accident happened.

The boy suddenly pulled my body away and put me behind him, and a miracle happened. My body, which originally hated being touched by anyone, did not react at all, as if it also felt that the other party was just a conditioned reflex for a just cause, so it naturally accepted everything.

I haven't had any expression for many years, but at this moment, this sudden change made it difficult for me to calm down. I didn't like this fact, so I showed a bad expression.

I also saw the boy’s hurt expression, but said nothing, accepted the result, and just turned my back to him.

Perhaps it was from that moment that an inexplicable and unreasonable bond tied me and this boy together.

Zhuo, Ling was too biased and immature at that time, so don't blame her.

You really didn't blame her, and you never blamed me, even though you knew from the beginning that I contacted you with a purpose.

But Zero Razumovskaya Romanov was a paranoid child at that time, and her first thought was that "I was being plotted against," and nothing else... Just like that, the boy and I separated with our own misunderstandings and prejudices.

　Thanks to brother 20220703153922263 for the 100-point reward.

　　
　
(End of this chapter)