Chapter 262 "At least it's just you, I'll let you live"

The two walked into the small park where they often played when they were young, and stopped in front of the swing. The sun was setting in the west, and the afterglow fell on the sand under their feet, shining brightly.

Ke Mingye looked down at the soft sand for a while, then grabbed the rope of the swing and looked sideways at Bai Zini: "So why did you come to this place on purpose?"

Bai Zini sat on the swing on the other side and asked calmly, "Before they come, I want you to stay with me for a while, is that not okay?"

"Okay." Ke Mingye said.

The two looked up at the little boys and girls playing in the park, as if they saw themselves as children.

They all curled up the corners of their mouths slightly and couldn't help but chuckle twice.

"You always bullied me when we were little." said Baizini.

"Is there any?"

"Yes, just like that little brat, he threw sand on me and then climbed onto the slide. I didn't dare to go up, so I could only watch from below."

"You seemed to ask me to get down quickly at that time, fearing that I would fall and get hurt."

"Yeah...I was so stupid when I was a kid. I was still thinking about you even when I was bullied."

"It's such a small matter, so don't come to collect my debt." Ke Mingye said lightly.

"Speaking of childhood, I always feel that... you have changed a bit recently." Baizini said suddenly.

"Why?" Ke Mingye looked at her sideways.

"I don't know, it's like intuition." Bai Zini shook her head, "But when I talked to Xiao Ling, she told me that she felt you haven't changed."

"why?"

Ke Mingye lowered his head, not meeting her gaze, and continued to ask.

"She said that you were like this before. Whenever you could get closer to someone, you would subconsciously pull yourself away." Bai Zini said, "She also said... that was the look in the eyes of someone who was afraid of being abandoned."

Ke Mingye shrugged and said indifferently: "What do I have to be afraid of?"

"She said that you often worry about being abandoned again like you were when you were a child, so in order to avoid getting hurt, you prepare yourself mentally for being abandoned and keep your distance from your family."

Ke Mingye remained silent.

"Is there?" he asked.

"I don't know." Bai Zini said, turning her head to stare at him, "Is there?"

Ke Mingye was silent for a while.

He thought to himself that he might be the same as Bai Ziling said. In this respect alone, he was indeed very similar to the former Ke Mingye.

It’s just that Ke Mingye was afraid of being abandoned like he was when he was a child, so he kept a distance from the people around him, hoping to suffer less hurt when he was abandoned.

He is different. He knows that he is not Ke Mingye at all, and one day he may even have to draw a sword against the people around him, so he can only distance himself from them as much as possible and try not to develop feelings for them.

Otherwise, when that day comes, he won't be able to do it.

After a long silence, he suddenly said, "Sometimes I am quite scared."

"what?"

Ke Mingye swung on the swing, lowered his eyes, and said softly, "I'm very afraid that you will know what kind of person I am, and then hate me and distance yourself from me. Then I thought, since there is a possibility of being hated, I might as well not approach you in the first place."

Baizini listened quietly, without saying a word.

“I’m actually very timid.”

"I know." she said.

"You know what," Ke Mingye touched his head, "I talk so much after putting on that mask, but it's actually just because I'm scared. When I think about dying, I tremble with fear all over."

"I know, so I told you not to be so stubborn."

"But even you are trying to be brave, and I am your brother after all, so I was thinking if I could be brave too."

"I didn't want to see you go home injured, so I became a magical girl."

"I know, but..."

"but what?"

"I don't want to see my sister crying alone." Ke Mingye said, "A few months ago... your friend died, you were very sad, and you killed that ghost-handed Buddha. The blood... flowed all over the building. Everyone was scolding you, saying that you were a witch, a monster, that you were not worthy of being a magical girl, that you should be locked up in a mental hospital and not come out to harm society..."

"You know, I didn't know until now...why you came knocking on my door so late that night."

"The door kept ringing at that time, and you knocked very lightly, saying...Brother, can you stay with me?"

He paused, his voice a little hoarse: "But I was very sleepy at that time, I didn't know anything, I just impatiently told you to go away quickly, stop knocking on the door so late, and then buried my head in sleep, leaving you alone outside the door."

"When I woke up the next morning, I found... you squatting outside my room, leaning against the door, sleeping with your head buried in your knees, but I was still laughing at you and saying you were mentally ill."

Ke Mingye swallowed a mouthful of water and remained silent for a long time.

He continued, "You know, I just now know what happened that day. I don't even dare to try to think about it...what was going on in your mind when you knocked on my door that night..."

"You must have been very scared at that time."

"You obviously needed me at that time, but I didn't know anything. I didn't know what my sister was thinking when she was sleeping alone outside my room and knocking on the door quietly for a long time."

Having said this, he took a deep breath of the dusk air, which felt like a sharp sword piercing his lungs.

In the last second before dusk passed, he opened his mouth and uttered the last words.

"I'm sorry, I'm such a useless brother. You needed me so much...but I didn't stand by your side."

After the words were spoken, there was no response, only the sound of children playing in the park.

Ke Mingye lowered his head, not daring to look at the person next to him. He just raised his eyes and watched the boy on the sand approach the crying girl and hold her hand.

Two small figures walked out of the park and disappeared into the afterglow.

Baizini lowered her head and remained silent for a long time. She gently turned her cheek and tears silently slid down her face.

She opened her mouth slightly: "It would have been nice if you had opened the door at that time. I have been thinking that you would come to find me. I have been waiting for you outside the door for a long time... a long time."

"But I didn't."

"I'm so disappointed."

"I know."

"So disappointed, so disappointed."

"I know."

"I've also thought about it. Why not just pretend you're not here anymore?"

"Ah."

"But I still waited for you outside for a long time."

"sorry."

"I forgive you."

"Really?"

"Well...I forgive you."

The dusk gradually faded, and the night covered the park like a curtain. The figure on the swing on the left gently tilted his body and rested his head on the shoulder of another person.

Half an hour later, on Metro Line C549 around Beijing.

The cold light enveloped every pale face. The subway was always dead silent during the rush hour, and everyone collapsed on their seats as if relieved.

Ke Mingye sat in his seat, with light and shadows flickering on the window. Bai Zini leaned on his shoulder and fell asleep. The tip of her nose was red, and her breath gently patted his neck, like a malt tickling his skin.

He turned his head silently and looked at the face reflected in the window of the carriage. It was such a strange face, it should be a stranger.

"Mind sketch..."

He whispered in his mind, and then a blank panel appeared in front of him.

He lowered his tired eyes, and as he thought, messy handwriting continued to appear on the blank sketch, just like a person in a trance scribbling on a blank notebook.

The words continue to evolve and pile up in a mess.

"Speaking of which...

“I almost forgot who I am…

“Who on earth is it?

“Yes, just like this boy.

“My name is also Ke Mingye.

“19 years old, college student, majoring in culture, likes reading.

"I have no family, not even one. The kids in the orphanage hate me. They say I'm a nerd and they throw books from the library at me." I've always wanted to have a family. If I can, I want my parents to be with me. If I can, I want to have an older brother and an older sister. If I can, I also want to have a younger sister and a younger brother. Everything I want is here. I'm very happy here and everyone is around me.

“Finally I’m not alone anymore.

"I'm happy here, but they all want to kill me. I'm just a... thief, a robber, who took away this boy's family and indulged myself in it self-righteously, as if... as if I really was Ke Mingye.

“Disgusting…

“Disgusting… makes me… want to tear myself… in half.

"Can anyone hear me...

"Who can I tell the truth to? To those players, or to my family? In the end... which side can I be on? Well, can't I fit in with either side?

"If I die like this...will anyone remember me?

“It’s not me they remember…

"Every family member remembers not me, but the person I killed... He is just acting as him. Everything I got is fake."

"College student, majoring in culture, likes reading."

"College student, majoring in culture, likes reading."

"College student, Department of Culture..."

"College students..."

"College students..."

"like……"

"Be alone."

"Ke Mingye..."

"High school student..."

"16 years old……"

Ke Mingye looked at the text filled with sketches, gently raised his hand, and looked at his palm tiredly.

“I’ve almost forgotten who I am.”

"I was just lying to myself. I don't have any family. They don't care about me at all. They never cared about me from the beginning. They only cared about the person I was playing."

"My name is Ke Mingye, I'm 19 years old, and I'm a murderer. I killed a 16-year-old boy with the same name and surname as me. I tried to kill all his relatives, everyone who loved him."

"My name is Ke Mingye, I'm 19 years old, and I'm a person who has to kill his family."

"No one will care about me. If I am found, I will die. They just want to kill me. They don't love me at all. They are not my family."

Ke Mingye's eyes were shaded by his falling hair. He opened his mouth slightly, as if shouting silently, and words were still appearing on the messy sketch.

"Do I have to apologize to the person whose body I took away?"

"Then what can I say to him... I think there is no one in this world who knows him better than me. No one... knows him better than me, but I killed him."

"Then what should I say? What should I say to the boy I killed? I took your life, your family, everything you had..."

"Should I say to him, 'I'm sorry, I'm here to kill your family, and I have no choice but to kill them'?"

"I still have to say to him... 'Thank you for letting me feel what it's like to have a family. For the first time, someone is willing to lean on my shoulders.'"

Ke Mingye leaned his head against the window, and the vision of his right eye gradually became blurred. He stared blankly at the blank ceiling, the cold-toned light tubes seemed to be swaying in front of him, and the brightly lit subway turned into a halo.

"Brother, are you okay?" The voice from his ear interrupted his thoughts.

"what happened?"

Bai Zini didn't look up, but just leaned on his shoulder with her eyes downcast, "You are crying... although you only have one eye."

"It's just my eyes are allergic..." Ke Mingye said, rubbing his eyes gently with his hands, "It's okay, you can go back to sleep, we're not home yet."

"Are you really okay?" Bai Zini leaned on his shoulder and continued to ask.

"what happened?"

Bai Zini was silent for a long time, and then whispered, "You asked me this morning. It was the first time I felt that you were so nice. You could tell at once that I was in a bad mood. You were not like this before. You were always alone. Dad always told me not to let my brother feel like an adopted child. He told me to be nicer to you."

"So is it because Dad said that that you keep sticking to me?"

"No." Bai Zini said, "I didn't like you at first, but then I found out that you were actually very lonely and confused, but you were very kind and would feed the dogs and cats on the roadside. In fact, you care about your family more than anyone else. Although you always acted impatient with me, I know you care about me."

"So do you think I've become weird lately?"

"No, you're still the older brother, but you've gotten better... You've started to care about me. You'd ask me if I was feeling down, come closer, touch my head, and consider what I'm thinking. Although I'd still pull away sometimes, at least I'm not the only one clinging to you anymore."

Ke Mingye curled his lips downward, and it was unclear whether he was laughing or not.

"I'm actually very tired, always tired," he said.

"I know you're tired. It's always been hard for you to fit into this family. You have an awkward and withdrawn personality. You can only talk nonsense and pretend not to care about us, hiding in your room alone... So I've been knocking on your door so hard, hoping that one day you can tell me what's in your heart like you did today."

"Is it……"

"When I was a kid, my teacher asked me on the test paper what kind of person I wanted to be in the future." Bai Zini smiled, "I said I wanted to be a magical girl and pick up a magic wand to protect my brother. The kids in the classroom all laughed at me. It was so excessive..."

"You are so childish. If they don't laugh at you, who else will they laugh at..."

Ke Mingye tried to sound sarcastic as usual, and spoke in a hoarse voice.

"This world is so chaotic, and many people die every day. I can't guarantee that I will always be by your side, so at that time I really wanted to protect my brother. It was a bit childish."

"Why can't it be your brother who protects you?" Ke Mingye said tiredly, looking down at her cheek.

"I'm no longer a magical girl, so will you... protect me?" Bai Zini said softly, "Just like... I protect you."

"I……"

Ke Mingye was stunned for a moment.

"I……"

He lowered his head slightly and repeated the same word.

"I can……"

On the mental sketch spread out before my eyes, words were jumping wildly.

I will
I will, kill you, I will kill you, kill you, delete you, kill whoever works for Shanda Company, the people of Loire 3 Wei commissioned to do something, the era is more Satan Sa killed, killed, killed.
I will
killed.
you.
Kill you, kill you
Kill your whole family
Including you.
我回
meeting……

Back...

Messy words appeared on the mental sketch, like a program infected with a virus, or like garbled words, constantly evolving, as if extending endlessly backwards.
Ke Mingye's face twitched slightly.

I will
The words on the sketch were twisted, and all the "Kill You" were dancing, changing vaguely in the tear-covered vision, and finally what came into view became the same words.

I will protect you.

Tears welled up in Ke Mingye's eyes and his lips moved slightly.

Whispering silently.

"I can.
Protect you. "

His Adam's apple moved up and down and his eyes were red.

"At least it's just you...I'll let you live."

I never had a family.
At least just for one year, I really want to have a family.

"you are my family."

Ke Mingye whispered a few words from his throat.

It was just a few simple words, but it seemed as if all my energy had been used up, and I felt relieved.

After a moment, seeing no response from his shoulder, he gently turned his head to look.

Baizini had fallen asleep... Her eyes were covered by her hanging black hair, with a slight curve at the corner of her mouth, and she was sleeping soundly leaning on his shoulder.

"What on earth am I doing?" After a moment's silence, Ke Mingye muttered to himself, laughing at himself.

In a trance, he was suddenly startled, then slowly turned his head and looked towards the car window.

What was reflected in the car window was not his face, but a boy smiling strangely.

The subway came out of the tunnel with a deafening roar. In the silent world, Ke Mingye slowly opened his eyes.

Reflected on the window... was the young Ke Mingye.

In his arms, he held a spark of fire.

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(End of this chapter)