Chapter 107 Zhang Yuan is Sima Guang

"Sister Chen Hao, Jiang Xin, you guys..." Zhang Yuan walked forward, covering his nose.

The two girls, Chen Hao and Jiang Xin, had painful expressions on their faces, just like everyone else.

"Zhang Yuan, save me..." Jiang Xin, a woman with a broad mind and usually strong and healthy, was crying for help in pain.

Zhang Yuan knew that it was no accident that so many people had diarrhea at the same time!
"I'll take you both to the bathroom."

"No..." Chen Hao couldn't even straighten his back, and he was gasping for breath when he spoke: "I can't move."

Lu Xun once said: If you hold your urine you can travel a thousand miles, but if you have diarrhea you can't even take a step.

The situation of Chen Hao and Jiang Xin is exactly what this statement means.

They were really afraid that if they took one more step, the essence in their bodies would leak out.

"Let us keep each other company in this world and live a carefree life..." Jiang Xin even started singing a song to distract himself.

But forget about singing now, chanting the Great Compassion Mantra won’t work, and no Bodhisattva can cure diarrhea.

Besides, legend has it that gods and Buddhas are afraid of dirt, and dirty things will damage their cultivation.

Given the current state of Peach Blossom Island, even Tathagata would have to take a detour.

We can't let these two beauties take off their pants on the spot and run away in front of so many people.

Zhang Yuan thought about it over and over again, his brain working rapidly.

"You two, bear with it for a minute!"

Before the two of them could pull him, he disappeared into the night like flying.

A minute or two later, just when the two were about to reach their limit, Zhang Yuan quickly returned with a pile of things in his hands.

"Take it!"

Zhang Yuan handed a pile of folding umbrellas to the two men.

"Open the back door and shield yourself, then...get it!"

"Everyone is panicking anyway, and no one is watching you."

Many film crews use this solution when they are shooting in the desert or Gobi and there are no toilets.

Chen Hao and Jiang Xin looked at each other and had to do as they were told.

[Received thanks from Chen Hao, appearance +1, temperament +1, lines +1! ]

[Received thanks from Jiang Xin, chest measurement +1, eye performance (rolling eyes) +1, acting skills +1! ]

"Zhang Yuan, you... stay away." Chen Hao said this with his last breath.

Zhang Yuan ran away quickly.

Afraid of being crushed.

Looking around, Zhang Yuan really wanted to compose a poem.

Quiet night thoughts.

The moonlight on the set is so bright that it looks like frost on the ground.

When I walked closer and took a closer look, I saw that the ground was full of flies.

"Zhang Yuan..."

He was just feeling inspired to write a poem when a hoarse voice called him from behind.

Turning around, it was Zhang Jizhong.

The bearded man is already in his early 50s, so naturally he is not as healthy as the other guys in the crew.

At this moment, he was taking small steps, as cautiously as an old lady with bound feet.

Taking one step forward and two steps back is so difficult.

"Director Zhang!"

"Help me go, go, go..."

"Please save your energy. I understand."

Zhang Yuan waved his arms, put Lao Zhang on his back, and ran away.

That is, he has practiced martial arts and is still young.

Otherwise, with the bearded man's weight of less than 200 pounds, anyone else would be in trouble.

He ran to the public toilet now!
The journey was so fast.

It usually takes him five minutes to reach his destination, but he only needs three minutes.

I don’t know if it was the effect of adrenaline or if the bearded man was helping him with “nitrogen acceleration”.

Zhang Yuan got to the place and took a look, and he felt something was not good.

The number of people crowded near the toilet was far more than just those listening to books, there were hundreds of them!

The Taohua Island scenic area has not actually been fully completed. The part they are using is still under construction, which makes it convenient for filming.

But there is a problem, there are not many public toilets.

It's usually fine, everyone takes turns using it, there's no problem.

But at this moment, hundreds of people were crowded into the nearest toilet. The scene was even more lively than the rush for train tickets before the Spring Festival.

Zhang Yuan covered his nose and squeezed forward. The scene that came into his eyes almost left him with a psychological trauma.

Let’s not talk about the toilet room. There was someone inside and someone outside was pulling at the door. Their nails left white marks on the wooden door, making a sound that made one’s teeth ache.

Not only that, even the urinals were being used, but the way they were used was different from usual.

There were quite a few people squatting on the ground, making a lot of noise and it was impossible to find a place to stand.

What's worse, some people even squatted on the sink, looking down at people from above.

Zhang Yuan looked around and saw an acquaintance.

Ma Peng!

This man was much younger than the bearded man, and with his perseverance, he made it to the toilet on his own.

Someone is knocking on a private room door right now.

"Come out, I'm the assistant director, make way!"

Hey!
Zhang Yuan was dumbfounded. This guy was showing off his kung fu.

It's true, the door opened, and a young staff member with a sullen face came out, holding up his trousers, forced a flattering smile, and made way for him.

wipe!
There are still lackeys at this time.

It's really eye-opening, really eye-opening!
But who is Zhang Yuan?

You've been making things difficult for me these days.

You offended the abbot and now you want to run away?

He rolled his eyes and immediately adopted a serious tone.

"Assistant Director Ma, Director Zhang needs to go to the bathroom, please get out of the way!"

Ma Peng was just about to close the door when he was stunned.

"Do you understand the hierarchy of seniority and social status?"

"Do you know what is the order of seniority and respect of the young and the old?"

"When working on a crew, you have to consider your position!"

"Director Zhang is the most important person in the crew, so let the leader run first!"

Just these few words immediately put Ma Peng on the moral grill, and he was caught in a dilemma.

Let, then wait for your trouser pockets to be pulled.

If you don't let him, then just wait for the bearded man to pull your trouser pockets.

At this time, the bearded man, who could hardly hold back any longer, also spoke.

"Zhang Yuan is right!"

Ma Peng was extremely conflicted.

But people have three urgent needs.

Urgent diarrhea, urgent loose stools, urgent dysentery...

boom!
Ma Peng gritted his teeth, held his breath, slammed the door shut, and locked it instantly.

The bearded man's eyes were as big as light bulbs, and he was so surprised that he couldn't express himself.

"That's outrageous!"

"Do you still have any respect for your leader?" Zhang Yuan shouted a few more times and turned to look at the bearded man.

"Director Zhang, you are going too far!"

"I can't stand it anymore."

“This man has no morals.”

"How dare you bully a 50-year-old comrade like you,"

"Is this good?" "This is not good!"

The bearded man's face turned green, and it was unclear whether it was because he was holding it in or was angry.

"Director Zhang, we have no choice but to go outside!"

Zhang Yuan carried him to the wasteland behind the toilet.

Man, the situation is critical, let’s solve it on the spot.

Put him down. Even though he looks like a decent person to outsiders, he will be as anxious as a grandson when it comes to this situation.

He untied his belt and took off his pants in one go. His hands were even faster than when he was chatting about the script with the actress late at night.

Zhang Yuan completed his mission and planned to leave.

But at this moment, I heard a strange cry behind me.

“Oh my god!!!”

The bearded man who had just squatted down jumped up again. He was so tall that if you didn't know him, you would think he had practiced martial arts.

"Yes, yes, there is a centipede!"

Zhang Yuan looked down and saw that there were not just centipedes, but all kinds of insects.

This is a very common undeveloped area on Taohua Island. It is an uninhabited place with snakes, insects, rats and ants making their homes everywhere.

If you bite the wrong place... Zhang Yuan feels pain just thinking about it.

He looked around and came up with a solution.

With 5,000 years of Chinese history, our yearning for food and obsession with land are deeply ingrained in every drop of our blood.

Many old ladies and old men, even if they immigrate overseas with their children, have their own yards and lawns.

The foreigners planted all the flowers and fruit trees, but they still continued to cultivate the land and sow seeds, insisting on planting cabbage and peppers, and setting up wooden racks to let grapes and loofahs grow freely.

We are not as good as foreigners in enjoying and appreciating it.

But its simplicity and frugality can give people a full sense of security.

The same is true for Taohua Island. No flowers or plants are planted, making it a wasteland in the scenic area. Most of the land has been turned into vegetable fields by management personnel or nearby villagers.

Growing vegetables requires fertilizer.

The villagers' income is not high to begin with, so of course they try to be frugal with fertilizers.

Well, the public toilet is right next to it, and there is a lot of good fertilizer every day.

Don't think it's dirty. Human manure can be used just like sheep manure, cow manure and horse manure.

However, the manure needs to be fermented and decomposed before it can be used for watering.

Generally, farmers will prepare an extra-large water tank, put fertilizer into it, add rice water, soybean water and other materials, and cover the mouth of the tank with a wooden board.

This is a homemade liquid fermentation method, crude but effective.

Zhang Yuan immediately saw a large tea-colored water tank about ten meters away.

"Director Zhang, come quickly!"

Pulling to the water tank, Zhang Yuan picked up a four-toothed rake from the ground, which should be used by farmers to loosen the soil.

He lifted it up and exerted force to remove the wooden planks and the stones that were pressing on the water tank.

All of a sudden, a strong stench rushed into Zhang Yuan's nose, almost making him stumble.

The bearded man also found it smelly, but he didn't care about that anymore.

Zhang Yuan used his arms to lift Zhang Da Huzi onto the top of the water tank, and let him hold the edge of the tank to use it as a toilet.

"I, I'm going to fall down."

The edge of the cylinder is smooth and indeed unstable.

Zhang Yuan quickly raised the rake, held one end himself, and let the bearded man hold the other end to keep it stable.

Puff, puff, puff…

He stayed as far away from it as possible. The smell was not bad. No matter how big it was, it was not as big as the fermented fertilizer.

The sound is a bit deafening.

It was particularly tormenting for him, whose hearing was enhanced.

But now there is this kind of noise everywhere on Taohua Island. The residents on the other side of the river might think that they are celebrating a big event and setting off firecrackers together.

Zhang Yuan pinched his nose, not knowing how long he persisted.

Anyway, it will take at least fifteen minutes.

He thought that by this time, all the balloons would have deflated.

This shows the seriousness of the problem.

"Ouch, ouch."

The bearded man kept groaning, his voice gradually weakened, and finally he didn't even have the strength to shout.

"Director Zhang, Director Zhang, are you okay?" Zhang Yuan couldn't hear the other party's voice, so he hurried to confirm.

At this moment, he felt his hand lighten!
"broken!"

Zhang Yuan quickly turned around, but the other person was nowhere to be seen.

Under the moonlight, muffled noises could be heard from the water tank.

"Zhang Yuan, help... Gululu..."

He slapped his thigh.

Why does everyone need me to save them?

I'm almost becoming Hu Baoyi on the set!

But this matter is different from other matters, we have to save him.

If it’s a little later, the bearded guy will easily get full.

"It's over, Director Zhang fell into the manure tank!"

"Don't shout..." A faint sound came from the water tank again.

At this time, it has to be him, with his quick mind and quick hands!
Thinking of the big rock that was pressing on the water tank just now, Zhang Yuan hurriedly bent down and picked it up.

This stone is as big as a basketball and weighs about 20 kilograms.

Zhang Yuan took a few steps back, raised his arms, and exerted force back and forth.

"1, 2, 3... go!"

With a crisp clang, a big hole immediately appeared in the water tank, and a "little clay man" was washed out along with other filth.

Shit Records: Biography of Zhang Yuan

He took a stone from a distance and hit the jar, breaking it. The shit burst out and Zhang was saved.

……

There must be a water source near the vegetable field.

Fortunately, Zhang Yuan found the faucet and rubber hose used to water the vegetable garden after walking a few steps.

"Director Zhang, please hold it in!"

It is February or March now, and it is cold.

Zhang Yuan turned on the faucet and poured water on the bearded man, giving him a chill!
But I can only hold back.

A little cold is better than a messy face.

I rushed back and forth for more than ten minutes.

It's impossible to do it completely, but at least it doesn't seem to be a big problem.

"Zhang Yuan..." Zhang Da Huzi's steps were unsteady and he looked powerless.

He quickly handed him a rake to use as a walking stick.

At this moment, he would never carry the other person on his back again.

"Director Zhang, you..." Zhang Yuan said with an embarrassed look.

"I know, don't tell anyone about what happened today."

"No, Director Zhang..."

"You did a great job and helped me a lot."

"Listen to me..."

"I'll reward you later, no need to say anything."

Zhang Yuan scratched his head: "Actually, I just wanted to say it."

"You have a maggot hanging from your beard."

Zhang Da Huzi was stunned for a moment, and then...

vomit! ! !
(End of this chapter)