Chapter 59 Yesterday’s Phantom (Part )
【August 1985, 10. 】

[This is the third time I have seen Bai Chuanren. He fell to the ground, a man was riding on him and laughing at him loudly, and several people were trying to snatch the things in his schoolbag.]

[There was nothing special in it, no money, no snacks or candies, just books on the subject and a few worthless notebooks.]

[They laughed and tore everything apart, throwing it into the air like toys.]

[A torn page just happened to fall in front of me—it contained his homework, and each stroke was not beautiful, but he looked very serious.]

[I watched coldly, without any troublesome thoughts of doing anything to help. I could see the pleading in his eyes, but... it had nothing to do with me.]

[I passed by him, but he said nothing and never called me.]

"It's too much..."

Xiaolan looked at the cold diary and felt a little sentimental: "Shinichi, has this kind of thing happened in your school?"

Conan shook his head.

The atmosphere in Teitan Elementary School is still very good, and even if such a thing really happens, he will definitely stop it!
##
The same rooftop, the same location, the same two people.

Su Beixun sighed helplessly: "Do you always come to the rooftop to cry every time you are bullied?"

So when can he be alone and quietly gaze into the distance?
Frightened by the sudden sound coming from behind, Bai Chuanren shuddered and turned around with his face flushed. He was embarrassed because he was caught crying.

"If the teacher can't fix it, I suggest you tell your parents."

Su Beixun unscrewed the water cup in his hand and gave a sincere warning.

This rooftop is in an excellent location. Whether you are looking at the cherry blossoms in the school or the hazy scenery in the distance, nothing will block your view and you can see far at a glance.

He really didn't want this place to become a place for people to vent their emotions.

"I...I understand...thank you."

The fat boy bowed his head and whispered thanks, his already red face looked even more red as if it were dripping with blood.

understood.

Su Beixun could tell at a glance that he was insincere and understood that his family problems were probably very serious.

Bad luck, I can’t stay on the rooftop today.

He turned around again.

But before leaving, he threw the cup in his hand into Bai Chuanren's arms.

"There's still half a cup of water. Go and moisten your throat. Your voice is too hoarse. It hurts to hear it."

"Excuse me, which class are you from? I...I will pay it back."

"No, I'll give it to you."

A quiet thank you melted in the wind, and no one heard it.

##
【XNUM X Year X NUM X Month X NUM X Day】

[I don’t know why I wrote so many things about him. Maybe these are the only things worth recording in my boring daily life?]

[I don’t want to go into it.]

【later……】

【I learned about his family situation by chance. 】

[It all started when I heard a teacher in the office say that a student in his class named Baichuanren was beaten by his parents and was hospitalized - he should be Baichuanren's homeroom teacher.]

[Although he had a sympathetic look on his face and kept condemning the fat boy's parents, I could tell that he just wanted to share a fairly interesting piece of gossip with his colleagues.]

##
"What are you doing here?"

Today is Friday, a rare day.

Su Beixun saw Bai Chuanren sitting on the steps at the school gate.

"It's already five o'clock, aren't you going home?"

The setting sun in the sky is so red it’s depressing; the light is about to leave the world.

The little fat boy shook his head and said sullenly, "My father drinks a lot of wine every noon. I will go back later. When he sobers up, it won't hurt that much to hit me."

His pure black eyes were filled with fear and resistance. He kept his head down when talking to anyone, like a discarded, worthless piece of trash.

For some unknown reason, Su Beixun stretched out his hand: "So... do you want to come with me?"

##
[Disgusting, disgusting, so fucking disgusting! ]

【What on earth am I talking about? ! 】

Why would I do this for him?

[Who am I pitying? Bai Chuanren? Or myself?!] [I am no longer the same!]

[I have power and money. The child who almost starved to death in the snow two years ago has nothing to do with me anymore!]

【but I……】

【Why do you care so much? 】

##
"come in."

Su Beixun opened the door and said something casually.

He bent down and changed his shoes. "I didn't expect that I would bring anyone here, and I don't have any spare slippers at home...but that doesn't mean I allow you to come in with shoes, because I hate cleaning."

The little fat boy following behind was at a loss: "Yes... I'm sorry, I can stay outside."

Su Beixun sighed: "Come in barefoot."

"oh oh!"

Su Beixun ignored him and just went about his own business.

Bai Chuanren sat upright in his chair, leaning forward, looking very stiff. He didn't move anything else, not even his eyes.

At eight o'clock, he said goodbye and left.

Su Beixun went to the bathroom to take a shower.

When he came out, he heard faint footsteps outside.

The sound was soft and unclear, but he recognized it was coming from his own door.

Su Beixun opened the door and saw Bai Chuanren who had just left.

He paced outside and didn't ring the doorbell.

"what happened?"

Su Beixun's voice was cold.

The little fat boy stammered: "Can I...can I stay here for a while longer? My dad...hasn't come back yet..."

"Where did he go?"

"…He would occasionally go out at night and come back very late."

"Didn't I leave the door open for you?"

"……Um……"

Su Beixun leaned against the door frame: "This has happened before, right? What did you do then?"

"I...I'll stand outside and wait for him to come back."

Su Beixun squinted his eyes and said sarcastically, "What's the matter? Are you relying on me? This is not a charity, and I don't take in any orphans."

"Yes...I'm sorry..."

The little fat boy's face turned pale instantly, a layer of mist filled his expectant eyes, and he couldn't help crying again, turned around and ran into the dark corridor.

##
[People who have been lacking love for a long time will cling to even the slightest kindness from others as if it were a life-saving straw. ]

[When they encounter trouble, they will think of him first, wanting to find support and prove that they have really escaped from the lonely situation...but they are afraid that this kindness is just wishful thinking, so they hesitate to move forward. ]

[Yes, I understand him, but I would rather not understand him at all.]

【Because it means I have experienced this scene countless times. 】

[Longing for charity and sympathy from others is like putting yourself in a lower position. You can spend half a day daydreaming about their casual care.]

##
"and many more!"

Su Beixun sighed: "Just this once, come here."

"No... no need, I am troubling you too much."

When I try to get closer and get rejected, I will immediately distance myself further away to maintain that ridiculous sense of security in my heart.

"I don't want to say it a second time."

After a long time, Bai Chuanren reluctantly returned to the door, holding the hem of his clothes with an uneasy look on his face.

Su Beixun grabbed his collar and pulled him into the house.

##
[Just think of it as me favoring you, Baichuanren, just as fate favors me. 】

[Just think of it as... me fulfilling my past self...]

　The best food is what you eat after worshipping the gods.
　　Happy New Year, brothers!
　　
　
(End of this chapter)